Beyond the Veil
by Atiannala
Summary: SLASH- What happens when you fall through the veil? Does anyone know? Can Sirius find out before it is too late an Moony is gone?
1. Default Chapter

Beyond the Veil  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine... it makes me sad, but it is true.  
  
Waking Up  
  
Sirius Black groaned with his eyes still shut, his head hurting from where it had hit the pavement. A large amount of pain was running through him causing small tremors in every part of his body. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried not to focus on the pain.  
  
With each breath, the pain seemed to fade. Yes, it was gone; he felt nothing that he had previously been feeling. Finally he sat up and looked around.  
  
Curses!  
  
It seemed that he had missed the whole bloody battle! All around the floor, Death Eaters were lying and groaning in pain. Of course no one on his side was still there... they were not savage enough to leave every dying man to his own devices.  
  
Then why was he still here? And very alone. As he looked around in the darkness, his mind began to speculate. Hadn't he been the cause of all this? Didn't Harry come here to look for him? To save him? And Remus too... Would Remus really leave his best friend lying on the floor to die?  
  
He knew that they wouldn't leave him; there had to have been some mistake. They must not have seen him fall... yes! They didn't see him fall and his body must have been hidden by the curtain he fell behind.  
  
Poor Moony! He must have been worried sick. That is not to say that Harry wouldn't be worried as well, but he had Hermione, and Ron, and Ginny, and Neville, and Luna... Who did Remus have? Just him...  
  
He would just have to go and see Remus; tell him that he was fine and not to worry. He would speak to Harry in the morning.  
  
Sirius picked himself up and began walking out of the room.  
  
He thought of what Remus must be thinking now. After the disappearance of his last living friend.  
  
Friendship was a powerful thing; it had been the thought of Remus that had gotten him through Azkaban. He had thought of James and Peter, and how he must avenge what was done. He had thought of little Harry and how he would one day return to him and show him his true self, and his loyalty to his father.  
  
But mostly, he had thought of Remus. Remus would hear all about how he had betrayed Lilly and James. He would hear of how he murdered little Peter Pettigrew. He would hear of what a monster and a beast he was...but would he believe it?  
  
Sirius had been most certain that Remus would not; not entirely anyway. And he had been right. Two years ago, Remus Lupin had welcomed him back with open arms.  
  
How Sirius had missed those arms the twelve years he had been imprisoned. There was something about his dear Moony that gave him hope, that made waking up in the morning worth the trouble.  
  
Sirius remembered back to his childhood days when Remus Lupin would sit on the edge of his bed shaking his shoulders trying to wake him up.  
  
***  
  
"Come on Sirius! We are going to be late for Charms again!"  
  
"I don't want to wake up Mommy, five more min..."  
  
"Sirius! This is no time for sleeping! Wake up!"  
  
Sirius, finding it hard to sleep with his friend carrying on so grabbed him around the waist and wrestled with him until they both fell on the floor.  
  
Laughing and breathing hard both boys laid there enjoying their proximity. After lying there for a moment longer than he probably should have, Sirius stood up and stretched. When he looked down at his companion, he noted the slight pink coloring of his cheeks.  
  
"What's up Moony?"  
  
"Nothing," the boy had answered a little too quickly before standing. "I'm going to go down to the common room. Do dress quickly, McGonagall will massacre us if were late again!"  
  
Sirius smiled at his friends back as he left, still enjoying the warm feeling that passed through him as he had laid on top of his friend that morning.  
  
***  
  
Sirius smiled at the memory of his friend in their youth, wondering however he managed to ignore the feelings he had for Remus.  
  
Sure James was his best friend, and they were inseparable, but that was mostly because Sirius had always had an attraction to Moony that had always gotten in the way of a pure friendship.  
  
He had told James in their seventh year. It wasn't too hard for James to figure out. Although Sirius had never acted attracted to Moony, he had also never acted attracted to the shrouds of girls that followed him insistently. Of course he had loved the attention, but he had loved attention in general.  
  
James asked him about it one day, and he had fessed up telling James everything. He was never afraid that James would disown him- they were far too close for that- but he had been afraid to tell Remus. He knew that Remus would also never disown him, that wasn't his problem. It was that he was afraid Remus wouldn't feel the same way. And he knew that he would never be able to face it if he didn't.  
  
Sirius was now walking up the path that lead to the gates of Hogwarts. It would not be long now.  
  
Finding his way to Remus's room, he spoke the password and entered not really paying much attention out of his concern for Remus. Because as he suspected, Remus was laying on his bed crying.  
  
It seemed that Remus was so busy crying, that he hadn't even noticed Sirius enter the room.  
  
Silly old Moony, Sirius thought, and sat on the bed beside him.  
  
Placing an arm on Remus's shoulder, Sirius found it strange that Remus had not reacted to his touch.  
  
Minutes later Remus finally spoke.  
  
"Why Sirius? Why did you have to die?"  
  
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The first chapter is short next, but I promise that the next one will be oober long! I just finished planning my next three chapters of Stuck on You so depending on homework, they ought to be out soon! Yay! ^_^ what do u guys think of this one? It is set right after the battle in fifth year when Sirius falls behind the veil. Hope you like it! Let me know!! 


	2. Realizing

Disclaimer: no, still not mine.  
  
Beyond the Veil  
  
Realizing  
  
*~"Why Sirius? Why did you have to die?" ~*  
  
Sirius laughed. That was Remus for you: always thinking of the worst things that could happen. Why, he had merely been late coming home and already Remus was worried enough to be talking in his sleep about him.  
  
Sirius moved to sit in the chair that was placed by the head of Remus's bed. He looked at the face of the other man as he slept, so worried, so afraid. With a soft smile and a gentle hand, Sirius brushed his hand over the forehead and hair of the sleeping man.  
  
Eventually piece came to Remus's face. Sirius observed that Moony looked more beautiful than ever when he was finally sleeping serenely. As he watched his friend sleep, Sirius's own lids closed.  
  
In the morning, a brilliant light flooded the room, and Sirius recalled the many times in childhood that he had yelled at Remus for not closing the curtains all the while holding a deep reverence for some one who could take enough time to really appreciate the sunlight.  
  
Stretching Sirius got up out of his chair and realized that Remus must have been in the shower.  
  
'He must have been so relieved to see me!' Sirius thought.  
  
After about fifteen minutes, Remus emerged from the shower and Sirius shouted "Good morning!" as loud and as cheerfully as he possibly could.  
  
And that is when things got strange. They became strange because Remus didn't seem to hear him; he just kept on walking with a haunted look on his face that seemed to express more sorrow and pain than any one person could possibly express.  
  
Sirius crossed the room to Remus and tried speaking in a softer manner.  
  
"Moony, pull yourself together will you? I right here! Unless... it's not Harry is it?"  
  
But Remus continued to ignore Sirius making the raven-haired man mad until Remus dropped his towel and began to pull on boxers and a pair of jeans. At that point, Sirius had gone from anger to shock. Remus had dropped everything exposing his well-toned body and scar-ridden flesh. Old Moony had always been quite shy about his body calling it frail and blemished. Never before had he willingly dropped his clothes, why would he now.  
  
The man in question stood up, looked at his reflection in the mirror, and sighed. "It's just you now Old Boy, just you."  
  
Sirius, who was beginning to get confused and not liking the feeling one bit strode right up behind Remus speaking tersely on the way. "Now Moony, enough of this insane brooding! I am right..."  
  
But as Sirius caught sight of the glass that Remus was looking in, words failed him. Right beside his friend, right where he stood gaping, was nothing.  
  
As Sirius continued to stare at his lack of self Remus grabbed a shirt and headed out the door of his room.  
  
It was some many hours later when Sirius had been able to get over the shock enough so that he could think. Sitting one the edge of Remus's bed, he began to muse over the strange things that were happening.  
  
Dead? Remus had called him dead, but how could he be dead? He looked down at his body: it was solid. Sir Nicolas, Peeves, they had been wispy and translucent; he was solid!  
  
And people could see ghosts! Remus had not even seen him, he thought some more, nor mentioned anything about being cold. Other ghosts had always made things seem cold around them.  
  
Then Sirius had a brilliant idea; he would go talk to Nearly Headless Nick! Who would know better about being a ghost than a ghost?  
  
One thing is for certain; if a ghost did not want to be found, he would not be found! It had taken Sirius the entire day to find Sir Nicolas, asking Peeves seemed too unappealing. However the most disappointing part, and probably the most mysterious was that Nick could not hear or see him either!  
  
But the visit to the elder ghost did prove to be of some use; it made him remember that ghost had a habit of floating. When he returned to Remus's room that night, for he knew of nowhere else to go, he tried to float and only succeeded in hurting his bum.  
  
Well that settled that! If he could not float and he could feel pain, then he was most assuredly not dead! And yet there was still the business of him not really being there.  
  
Further thought promised to abuse his already sore cranium, so Sirius sat down deciding that he had dealt with enough for one day.  
  
It was only a quarter of an hour later when Remus reappeared for the night, stripping down to his boxers and sitting on the edge of the bed before picking something up off his bedside table. Sirius moved closer to see what it was: a picture of the two of them, Remus and himself, from when they were students back in Hogwarts.  
  
As Remus looked at the picture, he began to cry. It was not a hysteric crying but a silent flow of tears that ran from his eyes down the soft curves of his cheeks and falling off of his chin. He said nothing, only stared at the picture looking lost and scared and alone.  
  
It reminded Sirius of another time, when life was simpler, and living far more easy.  
  
***  
  
"What's wrong Remus?" hearing the cries of the other boy, Sirius had gotten up from his own bed and walked over to Remus's.  
  
"Oh... I didn't know I had wakened you. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep I'm fine."  
  
"You didn't wake me, I was up... thinking... but by the sounds of it you were not fine."  
  
Remus had looked into his eyes with such fear that night that Sirius wanted badly to reach out and stroke the poor boy telling him that everything will be all right.  
  
"I'm fine... it was just a nightmare."  
  
"About what?"  
  
Remus looked down at his bed sheets, "nothing," he whispered.  
  
Sirius touched Remus's chin lightly assessing the pallor of his features. "Nothing doesn't leave you looking whiter than a ghost."  
  
Once again the boy looked down to his sheets.  
  
"Remus, you can tell me anything."  
  
The brunette still didn't answer.  
  
"No matter what, I will be here for you whatever happened."  
  
Remus finally looked up, "How do you know something happened?"  
  
"Because if it hadn't, you would not be afraid to tell me; and you are afraid to tell me aren't you?"  
  
Remus looked down out of shame of his secret and his tears. He wanted so badly to tell, Sirius could see that; he had spent an entire year working to find out how Remus displayed his emotions. He was very reserved, but when he thought he was alone he let out all the emotions he could not normally express.  
  
Remus's words came as a whisper. "I'm afraid to lose you."  
  
"Remus, look, you know what my family is like and what hell I go through with them. This is my real home: you and Peter and James. You guys are what made my life good. I was lost until I came to this school last year and found you guys. Don't hide from me Remus. I am here for you."  
  
Remus pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face. Sirius could barely hear his next words. "You say that now, but you don't know what I am."  
  
Feeling much like crying himself, Sirius moved to sit right next to Remus and put both arms around the smaller boy pulling him close. "Tell me," he began, "Stop torturing yourself. I can see the pain you put yourself through. Don't suffer this alone."  
  
Remus said nothing, but Sirius had the feeling that he had broken through most of the younger boy's defenses. He could feel Remus shifting in his arms and he looked down to see what was happening.  
  
The brunette had unbuttoned the top two buttons of his pajama shirt and cautiously slid the opening down his left shoulder. Sirius did not need to be told what the mark was, he and James had expected as much.  
  
"It's okay Reem, It's okay."  
  
The smaller boy looked up. "You aren't going to run away?"  
  
"Never."  
  
Remus's eyes teared up and he looked at Sirius with such a look of love and gratitude that Sirius felt his own heart swell. He wrapped his arms around the boy who had flung himself at his chest.  
  
They had embraced for a while before Remus said in a whisper, "I have such horrible dreams Siri, such horrible dreams."  
  
"Shh, You can sleep now Reem, I will keep you safe."  
  
***  
  
Sirius had kept him safe that night, and many nights after that as well. Now looking at the man before him, he saw the same Remus that had needed him so much as a child. Sirius walked over to Remus and wrapped his arms around the other man and held him tight, resting his face by the other man's cheek.  
  
"Sirius," Remus said addressing the picture, "Even with you gone I can still feel you here. I need you now more than ever."  
  
Even though he knew Remus would not hear him, he spoke, "I am here Moony. I will always bee here."  
  
Knowing that Remus needed sleep, Sirius gently pulled on the other man making him gradually lay down. Remus was so tired that he did not even realize that his head was not touching the pillow. Sirius had not held Remus as he slept for so long that the other man seemed to desperately need it; almost as much as Sirius did.  
  
"I won't leave you Moony, never."  
  
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So how was that one? I liked it and you? Any questions that you might have about Sirius's condition will be answered in the next chapter I promise! And that will come up faster if I get lots of pretty reviews! ^_^ Love you guys!  
  
~Atiannala 


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